KISS THIS!
by KiannaLeighMV500
Summary: Kieko has had absolutely enough of Yuusuke flitting between worlds. After a few expensive drinks - provided by Kurama - she tells Yuusuke how she feels and what to do next. Pissed!Keiko. Warning: implied future KuXYu. It's tiny though. T for language.


**Warnings: Character bashing.**

**Disclaimers: Yoshihiro Togashi owns Yuu Yuu Hakusho. Don't believe me? To quote Philly D: "Google is a thing". The song "Kiss this" is by Aaron Tippin. I own nothing and make no money on this.**

**Notes: The song weaves in and out of the dialog and story-telling in general.**

* * *

KISS THIS!

It wasn't often that Kurama went to a bar in the middle of the day. He supposed it was even less often that Keiko went to a bar in the middle of the day. But these were unique circumstances.

**She was a woman on a mission. Here to drown him a forget him.**

And so Kurama went in, found the woman and sat down next to her.

"Fuck off," were the first words she said to him.

The fox could have been offended but frankly he didn't care to be. Instead he hailed the bartender for a drink, one far smoother and far pricier than what Keiko was nursing, and slid it over to the half-drunk woman.

"Contrary to what you may think, I am not your enemy," he said smoothly. "It isn't as if I approve of Yuusuke's actions. I love him. He is one of my best friends. But if I were dating him, I'd have killed him by now."

Keiko scoffed but took the drink he offered. "I'm considering it. Don't tempt me."

"Rest assured," he muttered as he hailed the bartender again. "That is not what I came here to do."

**So I set her up again to wash him down.**

They had gotten through three glasses when Keiko began to smile. Tension eased, Kurama made a joke or two. Things were going well.

**She had just about succeeded, when that low-down, no-good, cheating, good-for-nothing came strutting through the door.**

Kurama sighed. Well there went the peace.

Yuusuke started right in with Keiko. He was sorry. He wasn't thinking before. He loved her. He needed her. He reminded her of everything she'd been through with him. They were a team. She was his love. They were going to get married. He didn't need to inherit Raizen's kingdom; not when he had her.

**Oh, he was lying in on so thick. He never missed a lick, professing his never ending love.**

Oh the whole thing made Kurama want to be sick. However years from then, long after Keiko's children's children were gone and buried, he'd recall the following scene for his and Yuusuke's children and send them into uproarious laughter.

Keiko stood up. She was much firmer than she should have. The woman smoothed her skirt down with her hands and brushed her hair over her shoulders. Then she looked Yuusuke right in the eyes.

**Oh, but I never will forget when she stood up and said:**

"So guess we're supposed to kiss and make up, now?"

"Well," Yuusuke muttered with a smile. "Yea."

"I see. Well then-"

**Why don't you kiss, kiss this! I don't mean on my rosy red lips! Me and you, we're through! And there's only one thing left for you to do.**

**You just come on over here one last time, pucker up and close your eyes and KISS THIS!**

**Goodbye.**

Now to say Yuusuke was shocked was understatement. Hell Kurama was shocked. Keiko had never started shouting in a public place before. Sure she was fed up with his hoping from Demon World to Human World but this was a new place for her.

Even more surprising: she kept going.

**Well the next thing I recall she had backed against a wall. Chewing him like a bulldog on a bone.**

Honestly Kurama didn't even think Keiko remembered half of the things she brought up. Every misstep from when they were in diapers she threw at him like knives. She was screaming, stomping, counting off on her fingers. Yuusuke looked like she was going to piss himself in fear.

**She was puttin' him in his place and I mean right up in his face. Dragging him down a list of done-me-wrongs.**

And to add insult to injury, Keiko hadn't picked some obscure bar to drink at. Oh no. There were few places that demons could mingle freely in the human realm and Keiko had plopped down on a bar stool of one such place. Kurama doubted a soul in the room didn't know the couple by name. And unfortunately for Yuusuke – known for being a clueless showoff with too few brains and too many lucky breaks – well … in short, this wasn't going to end well for him.

**It was just about now that a crowd gathered 'round. They'd come to watch him pay for his every sin.**

Kurama helped himself to some more liquor while the bartender watched the show. He was going to need it for this. His image of Keiko was forever altered as he listened to her vicious rant.

**She called him everything under the sun.**

Finally she stopped, panting with effort. Without her screaming the bar was dead silent. Kurama wanted another drink but could bring himself to take his eyes off the couple to take it. Slowly Keiko's breathing returned to normal and she stared the Mazoku down for a moment.

**And when we thought that she was done,**

The crowd shifted as Keiko began to move away from Yuusuke. She headed for the bar at first, but Kurama waved her off. With a nod the human turned sharply and circled back around towards the door. Her hand hit the handle but then she stopped and turned around.

**She reared back, and she let him have it again man!**

**She said, she said:**

**Why don't you kiss, kiss this! I don't mean on my rosy red lips!**

"You can go to hell Yuusuke. Go on! Go fight! Go be fucking king. SEE IF I CARE! See if I worry about you. See if I wait up for you? Do you think I will? Well you've got another thing coming, you ASS!"

**Me and you, we're through!**

"Do not come to me for your problems. Do not call me your girlfriend. And do not fucking think you're going to sweet talk your way out of this either, you gutless, wishy-washy, self-centered dick!" She flipped him off and stormed back to the door. Kurama took this time to down a glass.

**And there's only one thing left for you to do.**

**You just come on over here one last time, pucker up and close your eyes and KISS THIS!**

"And don't forget to come get your crap out of MY apartment or I'll BURN IT!"

**Goodbye.**

_**Fin.**_


End file.
